Posts Tagged ‘beer’

Tap King, worth it?

Posted: January 30, 2014 in Beer, Rambling, Review
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My lovely wife knows me so well. First she gave me a Coopers homebrew kit to replace my ancient set up, the next year she gave me The Beer Machine. Last Christmas I got the Tap King and I love it.
There is nothing better than pouring a cold beer into a crisp cold glass from your own fridge.


When the Tap King first hit the shelves all of the variants (James Squires Golden Ale, XXXX Gold, James Boags Premium and other not worth mentioning beer) were selling at the same price. That’s right, you could get Chancer for the same price as XXXX Gold! Beautiful!
But those days have well and truly ended.
Now they are asking for $54 for the Chancer and $35 for the Gold. (Double packs of course because what is the point of 1?)
A Tap King bottles are 3.2L each so a double pack (by their recommendations of 320ml) gives you 20 beers.
A case of Golden is about $60 with 24 beers at 345ml, a case of Gold is about $43 with 30 tinnies at 375ml.

Here comes the maths:

Golden ale – Case of stubbies = 138ml per $1 (24x345ml then divide by $60)
Golden ale – 2 bottels Tap King = 118mn per $1 (2×3.2L then divide by $54)

Hmm I’m losing 20ml of beer for every dollar I spend…not horrible when you enter the convenience factor..Lets look at Gold

XXXX Gold – case of tinnies = 261ml per $1 (30x375ml divide by $43)
XXXX Gold – 2 bottle Tap king = 182ml per $1 (2×3.2L divide by $35)

WHAT THE HELL! I’m losing almost 80ml per $1!

Ok so now think about how quickly you drink the beer. For me, I am a more than casual drinker and the Tap King never seems to last long. But why is that?

It is 6 litres of beer and it should last more than a few nights. This did have me baffled for a while as I sank another pint of beer…..a pint of beer…..Aha!

There is the issue. Drinking from a stubbie you have a set drink, you know what you are drinking and have no control on the volume of amber goodness you are drinking per stubbie. And this is where the trap lies for young players, or older more than casual drinkers that have no patience and only accept drinking pints of beer at a time from my crispy cold glass, can fall into.

Your 6 litres of beer as good value it is, when you are drinking it at 568ml per drink, you will kill your supply quickly. Solution? Use smaller glasses or, my preference, buy TWO double packs at a time.

The lesson here? Don’t drink mid strength beer, its a rip off! Oh and Tap King rocks as long as you use it for the good stuff and you stock up to cover the pints.


One Troll Short

Posted: March 24, 2010 in One Troll Short
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What is One Troll Short?
Myself (as Grizzlee on broadcast) and a good mate of mine, Bifrost, have come to the conclusion that when we ramble about football (AFL), Dream Team, comics, movies and , well anything and everything, that we should not be selfish.
We should not deny the world of our brilliance and expert opinions so we present you with….

One Troll Short

Two blokes with beer talking about the long awaited 2010 AFL season, the new season of the addictive Dream Team and of course the exciting world of being a fanbpy of comics and movies….
The first episode is the intro and goes for a bit longer than the regular broadcast will. Sit back and listen if you dare and feel free to post comments.

One Troll Short episode 1 part 1
One Troll Short episode 1 part 2
One Troll Short episode 1 part 3

Golf Day – June

Posted: May 31, 2009 in Golf
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golf Golf Day June approaches. It is our 1st interstate trip and our 1st 18 hole round.

After Golf Day May, the committee sat down to discuss where and when this event would take place. The decision has been made…

Yass Golf Club
20th – 21st June weekend.

Why Yass? Because Big Bruce is expecting a new Lil’ Bruce and can’t travel to far away from home.
Ideally I would like us to get 2 rounds in; Drive out Saturday morning early, play 18 holes, hit pub, stay in cheap hotel, Sunday morning play 9-18 hole 3 club challenge, then head home.

I am currently trying get some golf/accommodation deals going but I need to know the numbers of who would be willing to stay the evening (means more beer drinking).
So let me know.

I. Am. Back

Posted: May 31, 2009 in Random
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random1After 3 months of no internet access, no internet provider, not even a working phone line, I have returned!
That is right folks, your…well…I’d like to say favourite…bah, why the hell not….your favourite rant/raver fishmalt drinking, footy watching and funny looking bloke is back online!

Now that I’m back, I am taking a fresh look at the site, have some ideas of some changes but ultimately I intend to bring it back to life.
Three months of not being able to rant, ramble or review a thing has driven me nuts. And could have I picked a worse time to go offline?!
AFL begins again and North Melbourne are bombing out, NRL is chock full of drama, Dream Team injuries and early trades are common place, government bungles are still here AND the Indian government are accusing Australia of being a racist country and want Australia listed on their dangerous tourist destinations.

The reason for why the longtime offlinenessness (it is a real word)? Way back in 2007, around the time here in Australia, the majority voted for change and in that time my wife and I, put a deposit down on a house. This house was bought of the plans so it had to be built. It was a stage 2 development and we had to wait until stage 1 even begun let alone finish. There were months where we lived with my folks waiting for the house to be built and boy, wasn’t that a hoot. Then 2009 came along and the house was in our grasp, only to have it vandalised and delayed. Then one fateful day, late February, the dream became real and we finally moved into our new home! Much joy was had and Numfar did the dance of joy.

But of course we didnt factor in the fact that Telstra are idiots who have neglected to lay down the phone lines in the neighbourhood. So 3 months later, phone line is finally put down, phone was hooked up to house and net was once more enjoyed. So here we are today.

Happy times are here and rants will appear. So stay tuned as I revamp this little place I like to call Fishmalt. I am sure there will much joy, rants and a different look but overall, a place where I can ramble away.

And stop the clock….

Posted: January 12, 2009 in Rant
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rantAnd stop the clock….Easter eggs are here.

Well more precisely, I first saw Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns in Woolworths Monday last week…so that would be the 5th of January.
I don’t know why I bother ranting and raving about it, it gets earlier every year….pass me a beer please.
Who buys Easter eggs 4 months before the event? Will Easter have all religious parts removed commercially like Christmas did?
I’m just so sick of the commercialism of Easter and how keen retail store want to get their eggs out first, I can’t even get a good rant going……depressing really……..where’s my beer?
I mean does anyone actually get excited when they see the Easter eggs in January? Everyone I know just goes “Oh good, the eggs are here..whoopdee do”…..Hello? Beer please!
I’m going to go away now…rather deflated at this half arsed rant…but I think you all know what I’m saying…and besides, I have my beer now.


reviewBeen awhile since I have review any beers but after drinking Carlton’s latest creation, Natural Blonde, I had to do one.

Apparantly it is so new, I can’t find an official site. So here is a pic so you know what I am talking about:


Right here goes….

Carlton’s Natural Blonde is the latest Blonde beer to flood the market. They already have Pure Blonde so why bring out another blonde?

This new Blonde states it has 4.2% alcohol, no preservatives, no additives and 70% less carbohydrates than a regular full strength beer.

I can tell you what it definitely has less of……Flavour. There is none. It is probably the most bland beer I have drunk and yes I am including the beers form the Kings Cross “clubs”.

There is very little fiz, body or even an aroma. You could easily take a case to a party and know you will be the only one drinking it (and probably laughed at for doing so).

For me, a good beer needs to have a good distinct flavour like the Boag’s and dark ales. (and the radlers). This beer is one I will not be drinking again.

Well I guess it would be a good beer for indian, thai or other spicy dishes where you just need to rinse the mouth without killing the flavour of the meal.

Pub beer: hell no and I don’t think it would make it to ‘on tap’ unless carlton spends big.

Couch Beer: only with indian and I had no other choice.

Regular beer: No. I will be sticking with Boag’s Classic Blonde as my blonde of choice. We are still talking beer right?

Overall: fishratefishratefishrate

That’s right, no longer the only reason for using a public urinal is because you have drunk so much beer.
Now you go there to play….wait wait…not like that…hmm
First you had the Pee-Ball. Dissolve a small ball while taking a piss…joy…

But this is so much better!

Introducing the Piss Screen!

Yep, while taking a piss, you race through the city Need For Speed style by steering with your golden stream.
Turn left by peeing left and you get the idea of how to go right. The drunker you are, the slower the reactions (and probably bigger the mess on the floor) and you will crash.
Great marketing ploy by a taxi company.
But not everyone agreed. Belgian police have baned the game for indencency!

Now I could make a stupid pun about the Nintendo Wii….but its to easy.

Carlton Dry – beer

Posted: February 7, 2008 in Beer, Review
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review4.jpgEither my IGA is not restocking their beer quickly enough or I am drinking far too fast..

So I go to get some more of the Barefoot Radler only to find they have sold out (I think I bought the lot). Once more I need a beer that i don’t normally drink.
And there was this dark blue label with silver writing beckoning me to touch it.

Carlton Dry – Premium Lager
Lower Carbohydrates, Smooth Finish
Victorian brewed and bottled

Hmm, looks like Carlton’s answer to Toohey’s Extra Dry. Which for me, is not a good thing.
I will state now that I do not enjoy Toohey’s Extra Dry for 2 reasons, a: the taste – it is like a beer trying not to be a beer, weak in flavour and b: the morning after I always have the worst headaches no matter how much, or little, I drank.
So you can see I was hesitant to try Carlton Dry

But here we go…..

Fist swig:
I was right, it is an exact replicate of Toohey’s Extra Dry. So much so, if you pour each into a glass, I guarantee you couldn’t pick the two apart.
Second swig
If a beer could ever taste cold, this would be it. It does have a very “straight from the fridge” taste even when sitting for 10mins. It is a smooth beer without a nasty after taste but with its weak flavour it is almost like beer cordial.
Sixth bottle:
With an alcohol content of 4.5% (1.3 standard drinks) you could get drunk on this easily and you will feel it. Problem is , for me at least, the headache was already on its way, with a dull ” I ate my icecream to fast” feel.
Sorry folks but I will not go through a case of this one. The next morning after the 6 my head felt like it grew 3 times but on on the inside.
Recommendations? Anyone who drinks Toohey’s Extra Dry and wants to try something different but safe, try Carlton Dry. You may taste the subtle difference but you will still get the same cold taste. I don’t see this being popular in pubs or clubs, not while Toohey’s has such a strong foothold already.

Its strange but this beer (just like Toohey’s) always reminds my of ADFA punks trying to be All That They Can Be where in fact they are just, well, funny looking.

Pub beer: Only if pubs replaced Tooheys Extra Dry………and it was free.
Couch Beer: again, only if you ran out of Toohey’s………and it was free.
Regular: Hell no, not for me. Sometime I wonder if the Dry beers have shares in Aspirin.

Barefoot Radler – beer

Posted: February 5, 2008 in Beer, Review
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review.jpgSo there I was, staring at my local IGA’s range of beer. I’m tired of the usual beers that I get and I was looking for the brilliant James Boag’s Classic Blonde.
They had sold out. My only options now were Cartlon Draught (the generic pub beer of choice) Carlton Black (best Australian dark ale I have had), James Boag’s Draught (clean boag’s taste without the Premium price). These are my usual beers of choice but not one grabbed me that evening.

So I have a bit of a gander to see what was sitting in the Classic’s Blonde’s home only to see these strange new label staring at me.

“That’s new” I say to myself, “let’s have a look”
Barefoot Radler – The Original Australian Radler Beer.
Beer infused with Lemon & Lime – Phenomenally Refreshing
South Australia brewed and bottled. Barefoot Brewers

I was intrigued..(recently I have been going through a stage of drink Bundy, dry and lime so lime was tasting real good at the moment)
Cut to me now at home with a six pack of this beer….

First swig:
It has a very clean and refreshing taste, just like the bottle said. I was pleasantly surprised.
There is definitely an after taste of lime, not so much of the lemon but definitely the lime.
Second Swig:
This is good stuff. It is a new taste that i have been after and it is refreshing! The label doesn’t lie!
Sixth bottle:
Now the alcohol percentage is not high at 4.2% (1.1 standard drinks) but it was enough for me to put my wife to work
I put in the call (she was still at work at the time) ” I say, wife, on your way home can you do me a favour? Buy me a case of beer =)” – yes it sells better if you say it with a smile.
A coupe of beers into the case (well the cricket was on so beer had to be drank):
This is a beer you can quite easily drink 8 stubbies (only 330ml) and still feel very coherent and refreshed (I know, just like the label said!). This can cause the big problem of thinking you are right to drive.
To all the idiots out there: DON’T BLOODY DRIVE.

Overall I can see this will be a beer i will seek out on a regular basis for a refreshing (see label) and different taste. I do not think this will be a beer for all (my wife didn’t like the lime factor) but I do recommend anyone looking for a beer that has a different taste, give this one a go.
I don’t see it being a beer that someone would drink all the time but definitely one to have to break up the monotony of your regular beverage of choice.

Pub beer:Not if you want to get out alive
Couch Beer: Once in a while for a fresh taste
Regular Beer: Definitely one for me to break up the usual beers
Overall: fishrate.jpgfishrate.jpgfishrate.jpgfishrate.jpgfishrate.jpgfishrate.jpgfishrate.jpg

The George Harcourt Inn

Posted: February 5, 2008 in Review
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review.jpgLast Saturday, my wife and I went to the George Harcourt Inn that’s over at Gold Creek.

I wanted to check it out after a recommendation from a mate. He told me, its a good place to sink a couple of pints.

So my wife and i rock up at about 8pm, walked to the start of the beer garden and this is where it starts to get fun.

Ever see those movies where somebody walks into a bar and as soon as they do, every thing stops. All the patrons stop what they are doing and stare at you, the music stops, you know the “what the hell are you doing here?” welcome.

Well that is exactly what we got. Everyone in the courtyard just stop chatting and stared at us as we walk by and into the Inn itself. Inside was not much better.

The Inn itself is quiet small with only about 8 tables (biggest would sit 4 or six if you are friendly). A band was setting up in the corner and people were at the bar.
The place was fairly full of people but with only a couple at the bar in front of us.

Once I made it to the bar the barkeep asked how could he help. As it was our first time, I simply said we were after some food and not sure what the set up was here.

The barkeep was less then enthused to tell us what the deal is and even astonished that my wife would order a couple of pints at the same time. So out put was the barkeep that when I asked for the house special, Speckled Hen Ale, he gave the expression “you gotta be kidding me, that pours like Kilkenny so I’ll be here forever”.

No a good start for a new patron.

After finally finding a table (the was a party on that booked 50% of the tables and it was a full house) we sat awaiting our meals.

One hour later, one of the barkeeps came out and asked if we were still waiting for our food. Answer was simple – Yes, yes we are.
Ohh I got ahead of myself a bit. When we order our meals, I was impressed to see some decent almost restaurant quality meals available (I was expecting pub meals). My wife ordered the Steak and I ordered the Veal , paid and walked away. Five minutes later a different barkeep came out (the best one of the lot) and informed us that they were out of the Beef and Veal. After trying 3 other dishes, we finally found one that they still had stock of, Chicken Kiev and Grilled Salmon.

The meals themselves were quiet delicious. the Kiev had the most garlic butter sauce I had ever seen, the salmon was done just right and both salads were filling with a delicious dressing.

Overall, what can I say about the Harcourt Inn.

If you were to drink a pint or several on a regular basis, you would be accepted as a regular and I think treated better by the staff. The problem with that is, they do not give you the right impression the 1st time and hardly encourage you to come back.

It is a good place to good with a couple of mates to sink a couple of pints after work but not a place you would go for a meal (food was good just not the right atmosphere).
I will go back there for pints of beer maybe once a week to become a regular. Mainly because they are 5mins from where I live but it isn’t a place I would go for a meal or a night out on the piss.

Food: Tasty with a surprising large range…when available

Bar: Small range of On Tap beer

Regular: Good place to have a few pints after work only.

Overall: fishrate1.jpgfishrate1.jpgfishrate1.jpgfishrate1.jpgfishrate1.jpg