Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

This is dedicated to the brakers (yes its deliberately misspelled, all will become clear so calm down or you may be Things That Shit Me #3) of the world. In particular the “I’m going to keep the guy behind me guessing” brakers.

One of the things you learn when training for you driving licence is the fact that all other drivers are not mind readers. In fact, they live in a perfect world and if you decide to ruin their pleasant oblivious trip on the road, you will in fact experience the subtle message that is road rage.
So how do we avoid this interaction of minor cardiac arrest of other drivers? We give fair warning of our actions by using this little stick on the steering column that produces a hypnotic ticking noise on the inside of the car. But this little ticking noise does much more than keep the beat of the song running through you head. Your simple action of moving a small lever has now started your vehicle to communicate to the outside world with little amber lights. These wondrous lights turn on and off in beat with the ticking you experience on the inside of the car.
How does this magical light communicate with the world? Is it morse code perhaps? No, it is even more high tech then that. This flickering beacon of light, breaks down the language barriers and lets the world know that you intend to move the car in a different direction by honing the attention of the drivers around you to these small miracle bursts of colour. In fact you could say these flickering globes of gold are INDICATING your intentions.
The drivers are now mesmerized by this miracle universal indicator and in turn, prepare themselves for the upcoming event of your car turning in the same direction the yellow goodness are appearing on your car.

With this is mind, I draw attention to the people in the world that are causing chaos to the harmony of indicating. A simple request you may say.

Use your fking indicator before you brake. I am not a fking mind reader so when you suddenly brake while doing 80km or even 60km an hour, I tend to go “What the fk?” Hit my brakes harder than they need to be if I had prior warning and maybe even wonder, “Did something jump out in front?” or “is there something wrong?”.
Only to discover that no, a sinkhole has not suddenly appear to swallow us whole. In fact the driver is just a fking idiot and likes to play “surprise. I’m stopping to turn, hope your brakes are good”
The little flashing amber lights are called indicators for a reason. To indicate your intentions to allow other drivers around you to prepare and adapt to your actions, safely and without viens bursting from foreheads.

INDICATE then BRAKE It is not fking hard to do, you end up doing both of them anyway. But one way keeps the peace, the other encourages me buying a bullbar.

Things That Shit Me #1

Posted: February 27, 2014 in Things That Shit Me
Tags: ,

I, on occasion, have a good rant about things that get my attention and just down right shit me to tears.
But something is missing. I dedicate so much time to voice my, sorry, vent my opinions about stupid people, stupid scenarios and just the idiots in the world that shit me. So what am I missing?

Aah yes, the little things that shit me on a regular basis. So here is Things That Shit Me, a mini rant about day to day stuff that happens far too often.

Today this is dedicated to the drivers who cant make a decision on what speed to go at.
When you get behind a driver doing , say, 5km under the 80km zone limit, you can put up with it. Mostly. But when you decided to go 70km/hr in a 80 zone, you will begin to shit me.
So when we hit the 60km zone I do expect the driver in front doing 70km in the 80 to drop back to the posted limit if not down to 50km to stay with the trend of driving 10km under the limit and pissing me off

OH BUT WAIT! What is this? The same irritating driver has decided to do 70Km/hour in the 60Km zone!
Wait what? SO you drive 10km under the posted 80km but will drive 10km OVER the posted 60km zone…….

IT FKING DOESN’T WORK ON AVERAGES DICKHEAD!
All you have manage to do is prove you are unaware of well fking anything and you get a rant post written about you…. LEARN TO DRIVE or get off the fking road

Thank you.

Tiger Woods, after stepping away from golf for a few months, has come out and made a public apology…

My thoughts and feedback?
Why the fuck is he making a public apology? What the fuck does it matter to anyone that isn’t his family?
The only person he has to answer to, is his wife. It is no one else’s business, it doesn’t concern them, it doesn’t affect them.
And the fact that the media has been hyping up the apology announcement?! WTF?
This is a man who plays some golf. Plays it bloody well. He got a little horny and couldn’t keep his wood out of the rough. How does this effect his golf? Maybe he will be more tense on the course from now on.
Whats this got to do with you? Absolutely fucking nothing. He is not married to you, he owes you nothing and you have no say in how he lives his life. So why the fuck does he have to come out with a public apology?
For crying out loud people, get over yourself. Let Woods face the consequence with his family without having to tell eveyone about it. Let him pee without having a public announcement in case it offends you that it may be while showering.

FFS this got me riled up…he owes you nothing. He still plays great golf. He only owes his family and himself.

aflIt is that time of the season where every man and his dog starts accusing teams of tanking games to get priority draft picks.

What is tanking? Tanking is where a coach pulls their best players from the field (or even the match), match up rookies vs stars and just playing to lose the game so they can get themselves a priority draft pick.

You see, one of the great things about AFL is the draft pick. The teams that finished lowest on the table get the 1st picks, the best teams get the last of the picks. What this does is, makes for a more even competition and each club generally has a success cycle.

What happens at the end of the year, where teams can no longer make the the top 8, some team’s tactics have a very sudden change and most people feel that they are tanking the rest of the season to get that all important pick.

Now if you were a coach and your season was in essence done (cant make top 8 ) would you continue to put players on the field that are carrying niggling injuries? or would you rather rest them, let them heal completely ready for next season and bring in some new faces to get the rookies blooded? If I was a coach, I would.

I just read this “Tanking? Long-term thinking’s ok” and one of they key notes straight away is, if you are in the top 8, guaranteed a finals berth and rested a player, which Geelong has done recently, then that’s ok but if you in the bottom 8, you are tanking.

Last nights AFL Footy Show started talking about the tanking debate and there were calls to changing the draft system to a lottery. Come on, you are kidding right?

As said earlier, one of the great things about our game is the fact that each year, teams are fairly even matched and for the weaker teams, the draft helps them get to be stronger teams.

Oh and just because you have the 1st pick, does not mean you are going to pick the best player. Have a look at Melbourne‘s number one pick Jack Watts. Played just 3 games this year and not really making any impact. Compare that to say Brisbane‘s Daniel Rich at 7th pick who is probably the favourite for the NAB Rising Star or even North Melbourne‘s Jack Ziebell (9th) and Liam Anthony (43rd)

In the end, leave the drafting system alone. If a coach starts to deliberately play to lose, I think the club needs to remove the coach and not put hope on who they will pick up for the next year.

Left 4 Dead 2…a rant

Posted: June 14, 2009 in Rant
Tags: , , , ,

rantI really enjoyed Left 4 Dead. I like the intensity of the hordes charging, I like the fact their were co-op campaigns in it.
What I didn’t like is that fact their were only 4 campaigns. But we were told that there would be addition content coming.
Then Valve announce Left 4 Dead 2 and I think this clip sums up how I feel just right……

***In no way do I ever or have ever, agreed with anything the real Hitler said or stood for….I just found this clip very funny***

Remake by original author of clip here

Fking Pricks

Posted: January 25, 2009 in Rant
Tags: ,

rantFking pricks.
So today, the wife and I go to our new house which is stilling being built. It is close to completion as last I was there it looked like it was just the landscaping to be down. It was exciting times.
Until today
As soon as we drove up to the house, we could see what we really didn’t want to see.
Some fking pricks have broken into the house and started spray painting the walls with fking tags and “I woz ere” throughout the spare room, hallway and living area.
Oh wait there is more.
The little pricks have also poured white paint all over the living room carpet!
Ripped off a fly screen to a window, slashed the sliding screen window and who knows what else.

So yes, today was not a good day. I can you this, they better not ever let me find out who did it or where to find them.

And stop the clock….

Posted: January 12, 2009 in Rant
Tags: , , ,

rantAnd stop the clock….Easter eggs are here.

Well more precisely, I first saw Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns in Woolworths Monday last week…so that would be the 5th of January.
I don’t know why I bother ranting and raving about it, it gets earlier every year….pass me a beer please.
Who buys Easter eggs 4 months before the event? Will Easter have all religious parts removed commercially like Christmas did?
I’m just so sick of the commercialism of Easter and how keen retail store want to get their eggs out first, I can’t even get a good rant going……depressing really……..where’s my beer?
I mean does anyone actually get excited when they see the Easter eggs in January? Everyone I know just goes “Oh good, the eggs are here..whoopdee do”…..Hello? Beer please!
I’m going to go away now…rather deflated at this half arsed rant…but I think you all know what I’m saying…and besides, I have my beer now.

jesus

rant*Starting with a side note here: I hate Christmas carols so this may seem strange that I am ranting that they are missing. Also I am not a religious person and don’t have much time for organised religions so again this rant could sound weird*

Its that time of year where all the TV stations start flogging their Christmas ads, having celebrities wish us a safe Christmas, school kids screaming at the cameras about how excited they are.
But have you noticed something?
There are no carols being sung at us by school kids, church choirs or anyone.
What? You haven’t noticed?
Remember, every year you scramble for the remote to turn off the volume during ad brakes to avoid the screaming 10 year olds as they belt out Silent Night.
But what do we have this year?
We have kids shouting down the camera about Santa and presents and buying gifts and eating lollies and so on. But there is no mention of what Christmas is about…..you know…the whole birth of Christ thing.
That’s right, watch your TV and you will find no mention of the religious signifance of Christmas, Jesus or anything

So my question is, why?
Why don’t I hear the strangled voices of teens with breaking voices trying to sing Away in the Manger?
Why am I being rob of complaining about stupid carols being flogged on tv?

I have 2 theories.

A TV stations have become so commercial driven that all they want to portray is “must spend money” and Christmas is just one big Sale catalog. Which as most of us know, that pretty much what Christmas has become to retailers as they put up their Christmas decos in September. But there was always a mention or acknowledgment that it is about celebrating the birth of Christ.
or
B We have become so caught up in political correctness and “mustn’t upset the minority” that TV stations have made a conscious decision that what ever they do, don’t mention Jesus or God or anything that could be portrayed as religious.

Now my thoughts are leaning on the B option. I do think that we have become a culture that if it up sets (or has the potential to) 1 out of 1000 people, we mustn’t do it.
And you know what? That’s just screwed up.
I am so sick and tired of things changing to suit the 1% that would be upset. And every time we do change to keep the peace, all we are doing is breeding fear into everyone else.
Now as I said at the beginning, I hate Christmas and carols and I really couldn’t give the time of day to organised religion but taking away any mention of the religious part of Christmas is just down right idiotic.
As our Regional Manager said to the Counter hand “See that bag of cement? Grab a spoonful and harden the fuck up.”

rant Yep, that’s right. Australia is still in the dark ages when it comes game ratings.

Plans to start public consultation into a possible ratings reform have been put aside after a draft discussion paper was withheld from public release.

The paper, intended as a precursor to a much wider and extensive research initiative, was shelved after Mr Michael Atkinson, Attorney-General of South Australia, withdrew his support for the consultation, effectively ending the debate.

I had such high hopes that this consultation was actually going to happen. This post may not have the same rage as my usual rants but it really is like beating a dead horse. Its the same argument evry fricking time.
When will someone in the government wake the fuck up and realise, games are not just for kids and in fact the main game players are in fact over 18!

Did you know there are at least 4 games that have already been refused classification for Australia.
Dark Sector and Shellshock 2 Blood Trails. Fallout 3 and Silent Hill: Homecoming have been edited and modified to be released in Australia.
And what do you think they will do with the new Resident Evil in 2009?

So I thought I could just duck in to the local Woolies to grab a couple of items. I did not expect it to be flat chat in there.
Oh well, I’m here now. May as well get what I came for.
Got my items and went to the 16 items or less Express lane as I only had 5 items.

This is where the anger begins.

The lady at the register starts piling on her groceries onto the tiny counter. About half a trolleys worth!
You have got to be kidding me. Can’t this biatch read?
What does the checkout bloke do or say? Nothing, absolutely nothing. So we have to friggin wait while the line next to us flies by.
So that pissed me off so much?
What is the point off having a express lane, with clear instructions on the guidelines of use in plain view, and then let someone who clearly has at least double the 16 limit, through and hold up everyone else!?
Solution Short of kicking the person who count either count or read, in the head. Why don’t the supermarkets start charging people a surcharge fee when it goes over 16 items?
I bet that will make people think twice (and count their items) before they charge in to the express lane and piss everyone off.
Short of that, well I can tell you, don’t try going through a express lane in front of me if you have more than the guideline amount. I can tell you, I am not shy and I will ask you, in a clear audible voice for all the hear, “Can’t you fucking count?”

Oh and to the supermarkets out there, if you have an Express lane – don’t put your slowest friggin checkout chick on it.
FFS I hate idiots.