Day 1 – Woke up today in the middle of a field. No idea where I was, how I got there; hell I was struggling to remember my name. First thing i see is a burnt out car with what looks like someone leaning against it.
Maybe they will know what the fuck is going on.
As I get closer, the smell of death hits me, the blood splatter on once was a luxury over priced gold car, maybe a Lexus; can be seen. Holy shit, this bloke looks like he has been ripped in half.
What the fuck is going on? And why is it when I see the guys innards on the road that I realise, I’m starving.
Search the car, see if the sorry fella has any food. He certainly wont be needing it.
Damn, not much there but a can of Spam? That shit still exists? Anyway there is a backpack on the back seat. Time to load up and work out where the hell am I.
Gagging, I search the fella for some keys on the slim hope the car may still run. Nothing, some scrap metal (everyone carries that right?) some more Spam (must have been a Spam Rep or something) but no keys. Looking around I see a few more bags on the road. Maybe the guy tried throwing Spam at what ever got him. Anyway no keys but did find some 9mm ammo. Who was this guy and why was he packing? And where is the gun?
I was too busy looting the blokes stuff to notice the sound of shuffling of feet and moaning. Well not until it was almost on top of me.
Looking up and almost scaring the shit out of me, I come face to face with some weird naughty looking nurse. Maybe my day is about to get better.
“Miss you ok?” She was so pale looking, lipstick messed up, dirt all over her uniform…..and her eyes….dead looking eyes. Holy shit, that isn’t messed up lippie. This nurse is covered in blood and getting far too close.
Backing up I start to get some distance between me and what ever this nurse is. She keeps coming. Slowly, dragging her feet, ignoring the broken glass, the rubbish and through the innards of my man leaning on the car.
This is some messed up shit right here. Fuck this, I’m outta here.
At to which point as I turn to run, I see more figures in the trees around me. Three of them, coming my direction. I’m not staying to find out if they are friendly.
I high tail it through the woods. Whatever these things are, they are not quick and I soon lose them.
Fuck I’m hungry.
Stopping for a breather, I now have the chance to get some Spam on. Fucking ring pull is broken.
Time to go native and find a rock.
After smashing my thumb twice, I dine on the meat of some mythological creature that is Spam. Hmm that rock hurt almost as much as the Spam.
If these, can I really say it, zombie-like things come around again, I may need more than my running ability and a can of spam.
Looking around, I have my rock, some sticks and no clue. What would MacGyver do? Fucked if I know, I’m not that old. So what would Sam from SG-1 do? So I put my best crappy accent on, act all high and mighty and …..hmm if I have something to tie the rock to the stick, I would have an axe.
Thank you Sam Carter.
Now lets find some civilization and get some answers.
Walking for few hours , I think northish I can see some buildings finally. Good timing too, sun is setting and I don’t want to be stuck in the woods at night.
I get to the first building and hear some movement inside. Thank Christ, people!
Before I can take another step, I’m grabbed around the mouth and dragged down. Looking up to see the face of a, maybe early twenties, girl. Staring at me she whispers “what the fuck are you doing. Are you looking to die?”
Inside I can hear the movement has become a little more frantic.
The lass starts moving me away from the building but making sure we stay down low.
This girl never tells me her name but she does tell me inside that building are things that want to rip out my spleen for tea.
“What is going on?” I ask.
She looks at me in some weird way, not sure if its disbelief or she is weighing me up to kill. I notice the pick axe in her hand.
Not now, she says. She tells me, if i want to survive tonight, we need to get in that house.
She almost laughed at me when I ask can we just knock and ask to come in. She explained more of my dead nurse friends are in there and they will hunt me down and kill me and better yet, eat me.
What the hell?
She’ll explain more but first we need to clear out that house and get to the roof before the sun has gone. Night time is bad apparently.
So here I am, armed with some shitty hand made stone axe, with a girl who is clearly mad but is carrying a pickaxe so who am I going to argue. We are about to go into hell-knows what to ‘clear out the house’. I am shit scared, I have no idea what is behind that door.
She asks if I’m ready, I think I nodded because next thing I know, the door is open and some crazy half naked man is running at me! Running! Since when do they run?
I froze but just before I was a meal for nude guy, the girl’s pick axe finds home, spraying blood all over me from nude guy’s head.
This girl is hardcore and I think I have soiled myself.
I recall her telling me to get my shit together as she charges inside. Not sure what surprised me more, that fact that I actually followed or that I actually survived.
There were 3 more of those things inside, one look like he had been jogging all day, another freaking looking cheerleader and of course, my kill; the legless one. This one was slow enough for me to grow some balls and put my shitty axe through its head.
Before I had truly realised what I had just done, this girl was ripping every cupboard open, searching for anything and everything. Looking at me it was clear I should pull my shit together and start helping.
Upstairs looked like a nice apartment, comfy lounges, TV, nice lamps, a curtain up to separate the bedroom and a ladder. Wait, what? A ladder?
The roof she said.
Before I could go up, and as if I wanted too, this girl’s axe starts smashing up the furniture. For torches she said, without light, you die she says.
After placing torches at the base of the ladder, we go. Her first of course and because I’m a gentleman and not because I’m still freaking out.
Roof was clear and she tells me we will stay here tonight. Just in time as night has fallen. She starts throwing down some bedding, a single sleeping bag and she tells me not to get any ideas.
“So what the hell is going on?”
She stops mid way opening a labelless can of who-knows-what. She stares at me, again I feel I am being sized up.
Before she can say anything, a huge crash from downstairs is heard.
She curses, looks at me and tells me if we don’t kill whatever that is, they’ll destroy the whole frigging building. Down we go. Into hell.
It seems these things have gotten in through the front door. And there is a shit load of them and they are quick.
She pulls out a shotgun, no idea where she was hiding that. She screams at me to get back upstairs and do not move until daylight. I run, I don’t care if people think I’m a coward, I was scared shitless so I ran.
On the roof I can here shotgun blasts, inhuman screams, destruction and then…..nothing.
Too terrified to move, I wait for the dawn.